The joys and sorrows of living alone.

Alone: Freedom. Independence. Autonomy. Limitless. Boundless. Free.

When I talk about living alone, I mean living the life of a single, unattached individual without a permanent relationship with a significant other in some way or another.
The fact is that we are never actually alone. We will always be in the presence of another individual or being no matter what time or space.
May it be our friends, family, teachers, students, colleagues, enemies, pets, pests, imaginary friends, higher beings, supernatural existences, and even God: Never once are we actually alone.

Unfortunately, not all of us are the same. Some only require the presence of family to feel whole. Some have the pleasure of having friends filling the gaps in the soul. Others have pets to comfort them. Then the rest rely on faith to reach a peace of mind.

Me on the other hand, have managed to survive on all the above for the total amount of time that I have been alive. Reliant on other entities to make the self become whole.
So far, it has worked. But there is a problem.
If I need guidance in terms of life decisions, finance, morals and other knowledge that can only be gained through hundreds of years of experience, I can turn to my family. (Of which I shall be entirely indebted forever)
If I need guidance in terms of daily decisions, minor preferences, current issues, work and daily life, I have my friends. (And I thank them for being the best they are.)
If I need something to actively and physically communicate with for a while, I can get a pet.
If I need some guidance in terms of the future, I might be able to turn to my faith.

But what happens if I have personal needs and problems. Where do I go for that?
I can't bear to burden my family and make them worry for my personal issues and state of mind.
I definitely do not want to involve friends in my personal faults and discord.
A pet won't understand.
Which only leaves God to do all the work of listening to all my whining. Which is not right.

This seems to only strengthen my need to find someone who understands me enough for me to release myself as a whole and without any cover of any sort.
Someone other than my Mum or Dad, who is willing to listen to my whining and fretting, yet does not worry so much that it makes me worry back of them.
Someone who understands that I am not perfect, yet strives to make my life complete.
Someone who I can depend on to be there when others cannot.

I know I can. No matter who it is.
No matter when.
No matter what.
I'll be there.

But can you? And where are you? How can I find you?

Or have I already found you? And you are already just underneath my nose...



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