It's been a while since I had this sort of time to do anything I want.
The past few weeks have been hectic.
Multiple heartbreaks, dreams shattered, projects rejected, design denied, writings failed, work unfinished and the lot.
Add in sleepless nights, late overhauls, extra hours, and school stay-ins, and you get:
ONE HELL TIRED TEEN ARCHITECTURE STUDENT.
So, just for the future reference, I am going to list out all the things that I miss at this moment. Hopefully later when I am in the ditch, I shall be grateful and thankful for what I have and enjoy:
I miss my weekends.
I miss my bed.
I miss my leisure lazy time.
I miss my regular bath times.
I miss my regular breakfast times.
I miss the morning alarm (Sleep only in the afternoon).
I miss aircond while sleeping.
I miss TV.
I miss pre-determined meals.
I miss hanging out with friends unrelated to work.
I miss reading novels.
I miss sleep.
So, tomorrow me going to Singapore! And Imma enjoy my life!
And....
LOMO-Fever!! XDD
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Monday, October 17, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Self dissension.
I really hate myself.
You know, there are times when I have to admit that my ideas are worth shit. And nothing could be more shit than the project that I am undertaking at the moment...
Not only is the idea half-baked, but the design is also not well thought of. It's basically a compilation of a few far-fetched ideas and designs that are hoped to marginally work together.
Even I don't have an inch faith in my design. I just hoped that miracles may happen along the way that might provide answers.
New lesson: Never hope and expect miracles to happen.
New lesson: Never hope and expect miracles to happen.
It's depressing to know that in the start you may be totally enthusiastic about your work, but that energy never seems to last till the very end in any of my proceedings.
Maybe it's my talent of proving people wrong. If you put me down, I will try with all my heart and soul to prove to you that I can do it, and it works and I succeed most of the time.
But the opposite happens when you expect me to succeed. I fail instead. Dang.
But the opposite happens when you expect me to succeed. I fail instead. Dang.
What really surprises and annoys me though is that even in such bleak times, there are people willing to push on towards a blind target for no apparent reason. What drives them baffles me entirely.
It's totally mad when you think of it. You know that it cannot work, You know that it will not fit. But you still want to add on maddening ideas onto the failed foundation of an idea to make a more delusional compilation of ideas.
It's totally mad when you think of it. You know that it cannot work, You know that it will not fit. But you still want to add on maddening ideas onto the failed foundation of an idea to make a more delusional compilation of ideas.
God knows what runs in their heads.
But I shall salute you for your sheer determination. Pure Blind Determination.
Some people just don't know how to give up.
I used to have that talent. And I so wish I have it now.
But I know I suck. As a leader. As a designer. As a motivator. As a role model.
I am not meeting people's expectations. I am not meeting MY OWN expectations.
I am not meeting people's expectations. I am not meeting MY OWN expectations.
I just wonder how long I can still survive in this course.
Too bad.
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Sunday, October 2, 2011
Life goes on...
October has arrived.
It ceases to surprise me how fast time seems to fly when you are preoccupied with something in your life.
Although minutes may drag on like years and hours feel like days, week after week passes without much of a song and a tune.
As such my miserable life goes on as usual.
Probably nothing shall change in the coming month. But then again, nothing ever is the same and shall remain that way.
It's about time I created another savegame file.
Just in case, you know... if something might happen.
A blog probably doesn't suffice if I were to save my entire life experience. For that I would need a tangible entity.
Probably a person or two. I already have one I can trust my life on. The secondary one is developing nicely I must say...
Reflecting on the previous sentence, I am starting to talk about my friends like my minions or some sort... not a good thing... =P
Anyways, having people you can trust has never been more important for me.
Untrustworthy people have been a few too many in my life.
Not to say that the rest of you are untrustworthy.
It's just that I might trust you 100% to do work or important stuff, but I wouldn't hang my whole life on the tip of your fingers yet.
And so far I have only found two concrete and three semi-concrete friends that will last till the world ends.
To be in this "elite" list takes a lot. And so I really have to congratulate and thank these 5 special people for being such angels for this demonic soul.
If you do read this, and wonder if you are on the list, here are some obscure hints to identify yourselves.
Concrete number #1 has a deal with me that expires in 21 years. And for that matter, I agree fully with the deal. However, terms and conditions may apply.
Concrete number #2 has a mandatory summoning for both this year and next year, as I owe him a spot on the wall.
Semi-Concrete #1 could use a chauffeur. If only my life was as fine as yours.
Semi-Concrete #2 knows more about me than I know about him. But I trust you nonetheless, as you have proven loyal to me. Peanut.
Semi-Concrete #3 has plans to move out to a bigger place. Probably knows I might want to too.
In the next week or so, a promotion for one of the 3 might be due. Just wait and see how things develop.
On a lighter note, I still haven't found my alcohol limit. As I am still sober after 660ml of 5% alcohol.
On a darker tone, seeing you with another person still stings a few heartstrings. Seeing so many people not alone hurts more though...
Which also can mean that my condition is getting better, as you aren't the biggest pain in my heart.
But still, how much longer can I withstand the pain?
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It ceases to surprise me how fast time seems to fly when you are preoccupied with something in your life.
Although minutes may drag on like years and hours feel like days, week after week passes without much of a song and a tune.
As such my miserable life goes on as usual.
Probably nothing shall change in the coming month. But then again, nothing ever is the same and shall remain that way.
It's about time I created another savegame file.
Just in case, you know... if something might happen.
A blog probably doesn't suffice if I were to save my entire life experience. For that I would need a tangible entity.
Probably a person or two. I already have one I can trust my life on. The secondary one is developing nicely I must say...
Reflecting on the previous sentence, I am starting to talk about my friends like my minions or some sort... not a good thing... =P
Anyways, having people you can trust has never been more important for me.
Untrustworthy people have been a few too many in my life.
Not to say that the rest of you are untrustworthy.
It's just that I might trust you 100% to do work or important stuff, but I wouldn't hang my whole life on the tip of your fingers yet.
And so far I have only found two concrete and three semi-concrete friends that will last till the world ends.
To be in this "elite" list takes a lot. And so I really have to congratulate and thank these 5 special people for being such angels for this demonic soul.
If you do read this, and wonder if you are on the list, here are some obscure hints to identify yourselves.
Concrete number #1 has a deal with me that expires in 21 years. And for that matter, I agree fully with the deal. However, terms and conditions may apply.
Concrete number #2 has a mandatory summoning for both this year and next year, as I owe him a spot on the wall.
Semi-Concrete #1 could use a chauffeur. If only my life was as fine as yours.
Semi-Concrete #2 knows more about me than I know about him. But I trust you nonetheless, as you have proven loyal to me. Peanut.
Semi-Concrete #3 has plans to move out to a bigger place. Probably knows I might want to too.
In the next week or so, a promotion for one of the 3 might be due. Just wait and see how things develop.
On a lighter note, I still haven't found my alcohol limit. As I am still sober after 660ml of 5% alcohol.
On a darker tone, seeing you with another person still stings a few heartstrings. Seeing so many people not alone hurts more though...
Which also can mean that my condition is getting better, as you aren't the biggest pain in my heart.
But still, how much longer can I withstand the pain?
01001001 00100000 01100011 01110010 01101001 01100101 01100100 00100000 01101100 01100001 01110011 01110100 00100000 01101110 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100 00101110 00100000 01001110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100011 01100001 01110101 01110011 01100101 00100000 01001001 00100000 01101101 01101001 01110011 01110011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00101110 00100000 01000010 01110101 01110100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01101101 01101001 01110011 01110011 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01101111 01101100 01100100 00100000 01100110 01110010 01100101 01100101 00100000 01110011 01100101 01101100 01100110 00101110
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