Exhausted and Disappointed.

The last few weeks has been harsh on my body, and my mind.

Not only have I have less and less time to do the things that I want to do; such as watching movies, taking walks, playing games and such, I have even lost time for essential stuff such as sleep and meals.

If this keeps going on, I might not survive to live till 100.

But however, I am fortunate to have friends that support me in my pursuit of whatever I am chasing:
It is these friends who make my life worthwhile.
The sheer reason I put up with this mortal suffering.

The reason I wake up everyday.
The reason why I never give up.

So at this moment, I am thankful of my friends.

Now for my other prevalent issue.
I regret to a certain extent towards the self that I reside in.

Not because it contains imperfections of the human condition; That I can adapt and improve with time, patience and persistence.
It is the complications that I have failed to understand until this day.
The myriad of intertwined layers that challenges those who try to peel it.

The shell that protects the true self, unperturbed by any force that seeks to know its contents.

Sometimes I wonder, does anyone else have this difficulty in realizing the true self of oneself.
Or is it just me and my lack of knowledge of me.

Guess I know a lot about the world for a reason, because I have never actually spent time looking at myself and putting effort into knowing who I really am...

Too bad.

You know me more than I do.

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